The other side of schizophrenia

“I had a cousin who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He was 16 when he started his symptoms, it always became worse when my mother came around him. She is a very religious women. Every time we would go and visit them, he would sit in the corner of the room and stare at my mom, the whole entire time we were there. Hours of just starring. When we would gather around for dinner, my mother of course wanted to say prayer. He hated that. He would make a fit, and try to stop it all from happening. He would have attacks where he wanted to hurt anyone who tried to stop him. My mother was very suspicious, and would constantly ask me many questions on what we would talk about when we are alone. She didn’t really rely on doctors for cures, and medicine. She would ask if he had those attacks with me, if he ever hurt me, if he ever showed me his friends, or if he seemed a little off? He was normal to me. As ‘normal’ as anyone can be now a days. I attended church every Sunday, and so did his parents. Never did I see him there after his diagnosed. I always thought once people get informed with that type of condition or anything life changing they would become a bit more religious for certain reasons. But not for him. I remember my mother had picked me up from his house early Sunday morning to go for the ceremony, but this time it was different. He was coming along because my mother told his parents she was taking us for breakfast. She lied, and I knew she was up to something. I told her that he hates church and that he will get mad. To not take him, but she didn’t listen. My mother had dragged him along with us without telling him. I was scared. As we got out the car he noticed where we were and freaked out! I mean, he went nuts! I’ve seen him have small attacks but this was different, I can feel it, and so did my mom. He was screaming words no one understood, rolling on the floor while people tried to help him inside, he kicked and screamed, but no one helped him out his misery. He was tied to a chair facing the altar. ‘What is going on? Why are they hurting him? Mom, why are you doing this?’ I asked and asked but nobody paid attention to me, they just thanked me for binging him in. Me? I didn’t know about this? No. Not me. All I can think of, was how he was going to react when he found out I had a role in this. For the first time, I was scared to what he was going to do to me. I don’t like to tell what happen that Sunday, but all I can assure you of was that he was never the same; not that anyone every considered him like us, but to me he changed. He hated everyone and everything. He destroyed anything in his way, and hated me. He never spoke a word after that day, he locked himself in his room, never ate, and constantly had to be taken to the hospital. The doctors told his parents it’s a normal stage for schizophrenics, they become different and change the way they behave with family. Since it was a stage for him, no one paid much attention to his crazy attacks anymore. He eventually committed suicide when he was 23. He left his journal at my house. I read it and was able to finally understand what he was going through. He had a friend named Sam. He followed him everywhere, told him to do all the bad things he ever did. Tormented him the first day he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia until the last day. He made him leave us. Sam did this all! I never met him, why did we never meet. Me and him were close and shared everything. The last page in his journal described how he looked like… he mentioned that he had to go somewhere new because Sam wasn’t happy that my mom saw him.”

                I grew up in a household where church on Sunday was a priority, not a choice. My family is very religious, and I do believe in the good and evil. It was never forced on me like everyone believes, I had a choice and made mine. I do sometimes sit and wonder about things like this, but it never crossed my mind that schizophrenia can be linked with demonic possession. I get frightened very easily about things like this, but sitting down with my coworker and hearing his story made me a lot more curious. So I went ahead and sat down, and listened to everything he had to tell me on his view of schizophrenia and what he believes in. He let me talk about what I have been researching and learning, which were mostly facts, but then it was his turn.

He showed me some family pictures of his cousin. Some before his diagnose and others when he was going through hard times. He changes physically and it was an obvious thing. I saw how his face and body changed within the pictured as they grew closer to the time when he died. There was one picture that captured my attention, and he said it was his proof of Sam. During the church visit, he was tied to a chair, there was no way he could move or get up. Several pictures were taken, and I got the chance to see them. One of them had a black shadow that fully covered his face and body. You can see everything else clearly, even the chair he was sitting on, but not his body. When his mother was praying and holding his head backwards, you can see his eyes a complete different color than what they usually were; brown. They were red. Not just the pupil, but the entire thing. The last pictures he showed me was the last family meals they had together. There was always a black shadow either right next to him or one that completely covered him, to the point that you can’t even tell he was ever in the picture. I would have showed you guys what I was able to see, but he was comfortable doing that. All I can say now is that, I truly believe in evil. This isn’t a blog, to convince anyone to believe in what I was told or seen in the pictures, but just to let you guys know what others have to think of a mental disorder like schizophrenia.